My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
