Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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