I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Bring me that man meat
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
