Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
