There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
