We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
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well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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