Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
