i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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