I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the day after is always just damage control
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
