Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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