cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize