I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
