I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
