the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.