Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
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Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
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That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.