Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(971): View more from Oregon

you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?

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(518): View more from New York

Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.

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(425): View more from Washington

if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you

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(847): View more from Illinois

Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(254): View more from Texas

Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.

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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.

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(281): View more from Texas

Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.

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(706): View more from Georgia

See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working

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(563): View more from Iowa

What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?

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