did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
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You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router