she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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