Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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