chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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