yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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