and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
