from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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