wanna go halves on a baby?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
