There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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