Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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