threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
