actually, I'm a sock model
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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