CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
