My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
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I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
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This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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