A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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