I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
