After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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