So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
