neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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