Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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