My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
