Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
