either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
