Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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