he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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