Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The Olympian is in my bed
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize