Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I supernannyed him into submission
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
