...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
