yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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