Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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