already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
