i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
