Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
