She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drunk is a universal language darling
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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