I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?