Texts From Last Night

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  (254): View more from Texas

  my sisters under your porch take her home

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  (254): my sisters under your porch take her home http://tfl.nu/rfs3
  Replies (10) Good night (4931) Bad night (1210)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed

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  (317): he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed http://tfl.nu/zklq
  Replies (12) Good night (6584) Bad night (1076)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  should my penis look like a turkey

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  (319): should my penis look like a turkey http://tfl.nu/u56w
  Replies (18) Good night (992) Bad night (5430)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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  (413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn
  Replies (13) Good night (3998) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?

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  (970): You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you? http://tfl.nu/r91h
  Replies (2) Good night (1150) Bad night (2722)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.

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  (+44): If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse. http://tfl.nu/1ru8
  Replies (6) Good night (1524) Bad night (2336)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night

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  (907): Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night http://tfl.nu/7a8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1372) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....

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  (310): We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries.... http://tfl.nu/y7n3
  Replies (9) Good night (1074) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun

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  (716): I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun http://tfl.nu/488y
  Replies (0) Good night (906) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.

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  (832): Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy. http://tfl.nu/f1si
  Replies (8) Good night (1259) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.

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  (301): Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher. http://tfl.nu/xgiu
  Replies (2) Good night (1281) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?

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  (701): I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up? http://tfl.nu/bx4r
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.

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  (703): He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3aao
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"

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  (206): you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus" http://tfl.nu/hgga
  Replies (1) Good night (794) Bad night (251)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."

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  (949): And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas." http://tfl.nu/itxl
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (267)

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