oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
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I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
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lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.