Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan. http://tfl.nu/kp2g
  Replies (31) Good night (833) Bad night (2688)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you. http://tfl.nu/4g7v
  Replies (25) Good night (3579) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.

  (1-310): View more from California

  damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley. (1-310): damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now. http://tfl.nu/1545
  Replies (65) Good night (2594) Bad night (3527)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell http://tfl.nu/mqh8
  Replies (29) Good night (6403) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward... http://tfl.nu/0sye
  Replies (14) Good night (620) Bad night (4598)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend. http://tfl.nu/0oem
  Replies (15) Good night (4116) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on. http://tfl.nu/8snd
  Replies (15) Good night (5468) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25. http://tfl.nu/jw4t
  Replies (5) Good night (1946) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him. http://tfl.nu/boov
  Replies (12) Good night (1870) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit? http://tfl.nu/zvq6
  Replies (9) Good night (2705) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (264): View more from Anguilla

  I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (264): I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/tyhu
  Replies (9) Good night (2006) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo. http://tfl.nu/a7p8
  Replies (3) Good night (1218) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on. (636): Sounds like he's doing this for your own good... http://tfl.nu/dn1j
  Replies (3) Good night (1623) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone http://tfl.nu/xbvo
  Replies (1) Good night (664) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (569) Bad night (446)

Randomize