I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
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We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.