Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it

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  (202): Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it http://tfl.nu/1l0l
  Replies (1) Good night (982) Bad night (868)
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  (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
  Replies (7) Good night (694) Bad night (1828)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he should get drunk with us

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  (610): walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant (1-610): he should get drunk with us http://tfl.nu/datt
  Replies (20) Good night (5389) Bad night (748)
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  (516): View more from New York

  what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina

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  (516): what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina http://tfl.nu/zqnz
  Replies (92) Good night (1271) Bad night (5601)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!

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  (732): wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative! http://tfl.nu/b5c4
  Replies (67) Good night (6996) Bad night (1129)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple

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  (401): After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple http://tfl.nu/1d3q
  Replies (11) Good night (4348) Bad night (1006)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.

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  (860): i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm. http://tfl.nu/uzjb
  Replies (20) Good night (4135) Bad night (1318)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"

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  (917): They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?" http://tfl.nu/nrwr
  Replies (5) Good night (3498) Bad night (1593)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?

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  (705): I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ? http://tfl.nu/dlrl
  Replies (12) Good night (1317) Bad night (2651)
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  (408): View more from California

  I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me

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  (408): I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me http://tfl.nu/9m9d
  Replies (1) Good night (1689) Bad night (823)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am

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  (864): Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am http://tfl.nu/oar5
  Replies (5) Good night (789) Bad night (1437)
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  (818): View more from California

  WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD

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  (818): WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD http://tfl.nu/zdjc
  Replies (10) Good night (1226) Bad night (605)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.

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  (612): I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night. http://tfl.nu/84z8
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (512)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.

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  (770): I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone. http://tfl.nu/ncer
  Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (908)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day

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  (815): To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day http://tfl.nu/tlou
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (478)

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