i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"