Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(574): View more from Indiana

He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy

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(636): View more from Missouri

& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'

(636): View more from Missouri

HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!

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(440): View more from Ohio

Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.

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(847): View more from Illinois

You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.

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(708): View more from Illinois

BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY

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