today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
