is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
