We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
worst night to have a conscience
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
