HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
