Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize