Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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