the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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