Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Someone signed my nipple.
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