And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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