are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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