Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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