Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i drank out of a bidet.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
