As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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