shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
